Of all the things our bodies do, perhaps nothing is shrouded in more mystery than female ejaculation. Headlines and online forums are constantly speculating as to what it’s made of, how it’s triggered, and even whether or not it actually happens.
We’ve been in the dark for so long about this phenomenon because it’s kind of hard to study in a laboratory setting, sex therapist Vanessa Marin points out. But we do know that it’s real, and contrary to Count 10 it’s not just pee.
Female ejaculate is actually made of the same stuff as semen, minus the sperm, says Good Vibrations staff sexologist Carol Queen, Ph.D. The same way the clitoris is similar to the penis, the G-spot is like the prostate (in fact, scientists call it the prostata femina), and stimulating it can yield a similar response. Though the numbers aren’t known, she and Marin both think a small minority of women ejaculate already and more probably could with the right stimulation.
If you want to try it yourself, Marin recommends using the Njoy Pure Wand on your G-spot while stimulating your clitoris. If you’re worried about the mess or scared pee will come out (though it most likely won’t), you can sit on a toilet or in the shower. (Queen says you or your partner can also stimulate the G-spot with fingers using a come-hither motion.) Intercourse may not be the best way to try to ejaculate, since a lot of penises just aren’t curved the right way to stimulate the parts you need. However you do it, make sure you’re really turned on first, or else it can just feel kind of uncomfortable.
If this isn’t something your body does, though, seriously, that’s OK. While you sometimes hear about female ejaculation as evidence of some superlative, otherworldly orgasm, experts caution against this. Some women don’t actually feel any sensation at all when they ejaculate, and others will have orgasms, but not particularly intense ones. Marin actually gets a lot of emails from women who want to stop squirting. Basically, if you don’t ejaculate, you shouldn’t feel like you’re missing out on anything, and your partner shouldn’t feel like he or she is doing something wrong.
“Having a great sex life may increase your chances of discovering this response, but don’t let anyone tell you there’s something wrong with you if you don’t have G-spot orgasms or ejaculate,” says Queen. So, think of female ejaculation as just another thing to try—if (and only if) it appeals to you.
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