Lesbian Sex Talk: Anal Sex for Total Beginners, or “Yikes, she wants to have anal sex!”

ToysofEros anal, Sex Education Leave a Comment 1085 Views

So she wants to have anal sex.  If you both do it right, you’ll end up loving it! But you still feel shy, weird, grossed out.

First things first. Identify what’s making you feel reticent. The first reason some of use don’t partake in anal sex is because we think it’s “dirty.”  It’s not.  The  beginning of your anus that is involved in anal play usually has no fecal material.  Unless you have to go the bathroom, your fecal matter is way up inside. But, if you are still concerned,  you can always have a bowel movement prior to having anal sex. Or, do a fast enema if you want to be squeaky clean.  Our boys at Toys of Eros, experts in anal sex, gave us some important hints and info about enemas.

Don’t start with a finger:  Many newbies think the way to start exploring anal sex is with a finger.  Don’t.  A finger isn’t necessarily smooth and thin. There are toys that are smaller and smoother than a finger.  Choose a vibrating slim anal toy to relax the anus even more.  Toys of Eros favorites are the Silicone Pop Beads, the O’Boy, and the Harvey. They are all the size of a finger, made of safe silicone material, and vibrate. n

The three most important ingredients of anal play are relaxation, lubrication, and communication.

Relaxation:   The anus is made of two separate muscles that are about a quarter inch apart. The external muscle is under your control, most people can tense and relax it fairly easily. The internal muscle is controlled by the same part of your nervous system as your breathing and heart rate. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed this muscle will be. Stress and anxiety, including worry that anal sex will hurt, can make your anus tighten, resulting in less pleasurable or possibly painful anal sex.

Numbing creams might make the nerves in the anus less sensitive, but they won’t help the muscles relax. They may make it more difficult to notice uncomfortable sensations, which can result in irritation or damage to the tissues. That having been said, there are a couple of creams  and lubricants that are safe to use, and can make anal sex more comfortable for a nervous beginner.  Vibration also creates muscle relaxation, and we’ll get to that later.

Lubrication:  Unlike the vagina, the rectum doesn’t produce lubrication, so everyone needs lube for anal sex.   Lubricant is also perfect for anal foreplay.  Put lube on your fingers and gently stimulate the opening of her anus first.  Getting  her turned on is a great way to help the anus relax. There are different kinds of lubricants for anal sex, but the best we have found are Uberlube and Slippery Stuff.  First-time anal players must get used to these feelings, so the slower you go, the better.

Communication:  Being able to talk with your partner about anal play is essential to making sure that you’re both enjoying it. Check in with each other about your physical comfort, what sensations feel good, or if you want to try something different. Newcomers to anal play might have difficulty describing exactly what they want. Try offering different options and ask which feels better. Even people who have lots of anal play experience find that talking while playing makes it more pleasurable. And read books and blogs on the subject!

Introduction to Anal Toys

Anal toys are the way to begin to explore anal sex. They are smoother than a finger, come in the proper sizes for maintaining comfort, and the angle and speed can be controlled better than a finger or penis.   Beginners should start with a slimmer, vibrating toy for easier insertion. You have to buy a toy made for anal sex because  anal toys have a base to prevent the toy from being sucked in past te sph  anus clamps closed, making it impossible to retrieve a toy.

There are 3 major types of anal toys. Butt plugs, anal beads, and anal dildos.  All three types also have vibrating versions. We suggest the vibrating versions for beginners. It gives  you the full feeling without stretching the tissue, and relaxes the anus. and it feels even better than the non vibrating type!

Butt Plugs: Butt plugs are designed to remain stationary inside the rectum, and stay in place as the anal muscles grip the neck, creating a sensation of fullness. They’re hands-free and can be combined with any other sex play you like.  During orgasm, anal muscles contract along with the muscles of the vagina or penis, so plugs intensify pleasure.  When women wear a butt plug during vaginal penetration, the feeling of fullness, and the intensity of orgasm,  is exaggerated tenfold.

These are the best, most comfortable plugs we’ve found.

  Our #1 pick

Ditto small butt plug toys of eros

The Ditto

Our #2 Pick:

The Novice


Novice vibrating plug toys of eros

The Novice Vibrating Butt Plug

The Novice is the smallest, most luxurious plug ever designed.  The silky silicone finish is enough for  nervous beginners to actually want it inside themselves. Rechargeable and remote controlled, it also has the all important vibrating settings for all tastes.

The Oh Boy

The O’Boy is slimmer than a finger, and has a strong removable bullet.  The angle is perfect for prostate play

Our #3 Pick

Silicone Pop Beaded Plug

Beginner's anal toy

This thin, inexpensive anal vibrator  can be used as a plug, or as a dildo that you move in and out of your anus. Your sphincter muscles will close around the space between the beads, so you can use it as a plug,  keeping one ball, (or more,) inside your anus while you play. The subtle bead shape is perfect for beginners to experience different sensations if you want to use it as a dildo, to  slide it in and out of your anal canal.

Our #4 Pick:

Tiny Bubbles:

The tiniest plugs of all, these don’t vibrate, but these also can’t scare away even the most intimidated beginners.

Anal Beads: Anal beads are exactly what they sound like — a series of beads that are either strung together on a cord or attached to a stem and inserted into the anus. They stimulate the anal opening because your sphincter muscle opens and closes over every bead. For some people, this feeling alone can induce orgasm, and for others, the removal of beads during orgasm acts as a great intensifier.

The classic way to use beads is to and gently slide each bead past the sphincter until  the entire strand of beads is inside the anus.  The most stimulation sensation is when you pull the beads out.  Some people prefer to do this as they get close to orgasm, while others enjoy doing it during orgasm. You can also experiment with pulling them out slowly or more quickly, although don’t go so fast that you can’t savor the sensations

If you are not sure if you will like the feeling, start off with the inexpensive  silicone beads.  If you like anal beads and want to own a permanent  string of beads, buy the Vixen silicone gem beads. They are the very best anal beads ever made. They come in 3 sizes. They are $100, but well worth it.  Isn’t your butt worth one hundred dollars?

Vibrating Anal Toys:  Vibrating anal toys are our first recommendation for everyone, and most especially for beginners. Vibrating anal toys create more intense and fuller sensations.  A very small plug that vibrates will “feel” much bigger than it is, without stretching the tissues of your anal canal.

Vibration also relaxes your anal muscles, and makes it more enjoyable for nervous first timers. It is a great toy to use if you are warming up for anal sex with larger dildo or a penis. Anal beads, anal plugs, and anal dildos all come in vibrating versions. You can also use a vibrating anal toy on your clitoris or vagina. If you do that, it is  doubly important that you clean it thoroughly, using with bleach or boiling water. These are the best vibrating anal toys, from inexpensive to high tech remote.



Anal dildos
:  If thrusting gets your juices flowing, then an anal dildo is the toy for you. are wonderful, whether you are using them with a harness or on their own. Dildos are perfect for working up to penetration with a penis, because she can experience the feeling of something going in and out of her, but you have control over the size, angle, and motion of a dildo while you play.  You have a large variety of  choices with dildos, and no choice when it comes to the size or shape of your penis.   There are dildos that have bubbles or beaded shapes, which are fun because of the way each bubble interacts with the sphincter muscle. Many dildos have ridges or bumps which make them great for G-spot and vaginal play, but they may be too rough for anal play, so try something smoother. Here are the best of anal dildos.

Anal Vibrators
: Vibrating anal toys are our first choice for an anal toy.  Vibration  relaxes tense rectal muscles. The area around your anal opening is extremely sensitive due to all those excitable nerve endings, and vibrations can act as a wonderful intensifier alongside butt plugs, dildos, oral sex, masturbation or on their own. Vibrating anal toys “feel bigger” inside, but don’t stretch the tissue.  A thin vibrating toy can feel bigger than a large non-vibrating toy, without feeling uncomfortable. All 3 types of anal toys come in vibrating forms. Anal beads, anal plugs and anal dildos are transformed when they vibrate.

Beginners should always start with a vibrating anal toy.  And ,if you end up not enjoying the vibration, just turn it off.  The toy is still perfect to use with the vibration turned off.  These are the best vibrating anal sex toys.




ToysofErosLesbian Sex Talk: Anal Sex for Total Beginners, or “Yikes, she wants to have anal sex!”


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